Cozumel Birthday

I've been in Cozumel, Mexico for the past month, visiting and living with friends from Korea.
I used to do spinning with Nat before the accident- that being slipping off the wet 2nd story porch and falling on my head onto a stone wall.

"It could've been a lot worse," is what we all said.

I had never been in ambulance before. Or had a black eye. I slept for a week after and was just scared, remembering trying to grip onto the slippery side, my body and gravity pulling me down, that brief moment of awareness that I wouldn't be saved this time, and curiousity about how it would turn out.

Now when I go out, I turn the evil eye on the gap where I fell, knowing the landlord won't fix it, thinks its my own fault. Because of the beers.

So now I don't go spinning, per doctor's orders- no heavy exercise for a couple of months and vertigo exercises to do. Vertigo exercises. Sounds cool. Doesn't feel as good or as bad as spinning. And I don't have the teacher to yell at me to push it.

And now I'm 34. 1 person on the 23rd turns 34. Its going to be a good year. Every year there's more and different shit to shovel. Not to get the questions you ask yourself get muddled with society's expectations about what you should be- the overwhelming expectations we have all been swimming with or against every year since our birth.